Silly Answers to Nosy Parenting Questions

There is an interesting phenomenon that happens when you have a child: suddenly, everyone -even complete strangers- decides that your business is totally theirs, too. What's that? You've never had a distant acquaintance come up and start asking questions about your boobs? Just wait till you have kids! Lucky me; Adam and I have made so many unconventional parenting choices that my business is a prime target for people to stick their noses into.

Don't let the pastoral setting fool you--
 one of these horses is surely asking the other
why her colt isn't wearing his shoes.

So here are a few of my favorite snappy comebacks for all those prying questions. Maybe one of these days, I'll even use them on someone.


Q: Isn't co-sleeping dangerous??
A: Sure, it is! That's why I have Oscar to keep me from falling out of bed!


Q: Why didn't you wait to have kids until you became wealthier?
A: We won't need the tax credit then!

Q: Did you circumcise your son?

A: If you want to change some diapers for me, you can find out.

Q: Why on earth would you use cloth diapers? EWWWW!
A: Just wait till I show you my cloth feminine pads!


Q: Why would you even consider giving birth at home?
A: Just trying to do it more biblically. Jesus wasn't born in a hospital, you know.


Q: Breastfeeding is GROSS.
A: Shhhh! Keep it down! Oscar doesn't know that yet!


So there you have it; what runs through my mind during these encounters until the concerned citizen goes away and I can passive-aggressively blog about it. Parenting is so funny-- everyone, including me, can get so caught up in the methodology that we all drive each other crazy, when really, we're all just trying to get along with the information we have, secretly hoping that our kids grow up normally in spite of us.

Where's my Harley, woman?

Hmmmm, looks like I already have my work cut out for me.

What are some of your favorite comebacks?